Misceloddities

An "Intel Star" TV ad -- Sponsors of Tomorrow

2009-07-27T14:43:00.000-05:00

Smarties Hero

2009-04-04T22:16:00.000-05:00

Children

2009-03-20T16:32:00.001-05:00

Addiction

2009-03-20T16:32:00.000-05:00

Razors

2009-03-20T16:31:00.000-05:00

Mad Cow | The Sacred Sandwich

2009-03-14T13:10:00.000-05:00

Mad Cow | The Sacred Sandwich

AAADD

2009-02-23T20:30:00.000-06:00

A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mailbox earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back
on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,
since I'm going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking

I'm going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the Pepsi aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm,
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
the car isn't washed
the bills aren't paid
there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail...

The Enemy

2009-02-15T16:21:00.001-06:00

So True on Flickr - Photo Sharing!

The Ultimate Rejection Letter

2009-01-11T16:00:00.001-06:00

The Ultimate Rejection Letter

Herbert A. Millington
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA  34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16.  After careful consideration, I
regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me
an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters.  With such a varied and promising field
of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in
rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at
this time.  Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor
in your department this August.  I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen

Antiques

2009-01-11T15:52:00.000-06:00

Facebook in 50 years

2009-01-11T15:43:00.002-06:00

Click picture for large picture

33 Names of Things You Never Knew had Names - Wattpad

2009-01-11T15:36:00.000-06:00

33 Names of Things You Never Knew had Names - Wattpad

Norton's

2008-11-25T21:54:00.001-06:00

Jeopardy

2008-11-25T21:53:00.001-06:00

Star Wars

2008-11-25T21:52:00.001-06:00

Various Cartoons, Part 2

2008-05-29T16:09:00.000-05:00

Various Cartoons, Part 1

2008-05-29T15:53:00.000-05:00

Redneck Week, Part II

2008-03-31T12:57:00.000-05:00

Redneck Week

2008-03-31T12:53:00.000-05:00

People 102

2008-01-01T19:18:00.001-06:00

Tech Support 101

2008-01-01T19:18:00.000-06:00

People 101

2008-01-01T19:16:00.000-06:00

Police 101

2008-01-01T19:13:00.000-06:00

Where?

2007-12-09T14:16:00.000-06:00

Where?

An Automated Car Wash Story
Passed on the Internet
Received April 2004

Bill owns a company that manufactures and installs car wash systems. (Magic Wand Car Wash Systems, just in case you want to buy one.) Bill's company installed a car wash system in Frederick, Md.

Now understand that these are complete systems, including the money changer and money taking machines.

The problem started when the new owner complained to Bill that he was losing significant amounts of money from his coin machines each week.

He went as far as to accuse Bill's employees of having a key to the boxes and ripping him off. Bill just couldn't believe that his people would do that, so they setup a camera to catch the thief in action. Well, they did catch him on film!

That's a bird sitting on the change slot of the machine.

The bird had to go down into the machine and back up inside to get to the money!

That's three quarters he has in his beak! Another amazing thing is that it was not just one bird -- there were several working together. Once they identified the thieves, they found over $4000 in quarters on the roof of the car wash and more under a nearby tree.

Funny Jokes - Blonde Dieting "Just Following Directions"

2007-12-08T16:51:00.001-06:00

Just Following Directions

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet.

“I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this
procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5
pounds.”

When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.

“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?”

The blonde nodded, “I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead
that 3rd day.”

“From hunger, you mean?” asked the doctor.

“No, from skipping.”

Funny Jokes - Difficult Question…

2007-12-08T13:34:00.000-06:00

Funny Jokes - Difficult Question…

A little girl walks in to the den one Sunday morning while her dad is reading the paper.

“Where does poo come from?” she asks.

The father, feeling a little perturbed that his 5 year old daughter is already asking difficult questions, thinks for a moment and says:

“Well you know we just ate breakfast?”

“Yes,” answers the girl.

“Well, the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our bottoms when we go to the toilet, and that is poo.”

The little girl looks shocked, and stares at him with watery eyes, in stunned silence for a few seconds, and then asks, “And Tigger?”

Marriage 102

2007-12-05T21:11:00.000-06:00

Daisy Guns

2007-12-05T21:07:00.000-06:00

Beatboxing flute inspector gadget remix

2007-11-27T21:31:00.001-06:00

Construction 101

2007-11-14T14:33:00.000-06:00

Antiques 101

2007-11-14T14:31:00.000-06:00

Scarecrow 102

2007-10-31T14:05:00.000-05:00

Food 101

2007-10-29T16:08:00.000-05:00

Cooking 101

2007-10-29T16:07:00.000-05:00

Gingerbread Computer

Cell Phones 101

2007-10-29T16:06:00.001-05:00

Computers 103

2007-10-27T21:58:00.000-05:00

Road Construction

2007-10-27T21:56:00.000-05:00

Life 101

2007-10-27T21:55:00.000-05:00

Computers 102

2007-10-20T13:43:00.000-05:00

Slugicide Bomber

2007-10-20T13:41:00.000-05:00

Cell Citation

2007-10-20T13:40:00.000-05:00

Computers 101

2007-10-16T23:56:00.000-05:00

MacGyver

2007-10-16T23:55:00.000-05:00

Speed Limit

2007-10-16T23:54:00.000-05:00

Dumb People

2007-10-12T16:22:00.000-05:00

Grammer 101

2007-10-12T16:11:00.000-05:00

Diet...

2007-10-09T23:05:00.000-05:00

Rewinder

2007-10-09T23:01:00.000-05:00

The Rules of Chocolate

2007-10-07T23:00:00.000-05:00

1. If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

2. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

3. The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

4. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.

5. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

6. Money talks. Chocolate sings.

7. Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.

8. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

9. If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

~Author Unknown

Happy Mad Hatter Day!

2007-10-06T22:43:00.000-05:00

about Mad Hatter Day

Parenting 101

2007-10-06T21:57:00.000-05:00

Marriage 101

2007-10-06T21:25:00.001-05:00